2002 | Dir. Lee Tamahori | 133 Minutes
"Let's just say my relationships don't seem to last."
James Bond is captured by North Korea during a mission, betrayed by an unknown double-agent within MI6. Released in exchange for a villainous North Korean agent, Bond defies M's orders, escapes MI6 custody, and hunts for the mole. Going rogue, 007 teams up with NSA operative Jinx to uncover a sinister plot devised by British millionaire Gustav Graves.
Objectively, director Lee Tamahori's Die Another Day is the worst picture of Eon Productions' flagship franchise. The action sequences are somehow simultaneously over-the-top and uninspired, the editing is jarringly choppy, the visual effects are technically shoddy, the dialogue is overloaded with cheese, and the plot is thoroughly absurd. Despite enduring a ludicrously stylized torture sequence at the top of the film, Bond carries on as a nigh invulnerable, ostensibly infallible protagonist effortlessly romancing beautiful women and defeating his enemies without plausible struggle or dramatic tension. Sauntering her way through the feature, Jinx isn't much better, created to be Bond's equal but sexually objectified and constantly rescued by Bond all the same. Devoid of the pathos and drama of the best Bond films, this installment ironically makes a strong argument that James Bond is no longer relevant as a viable cinematic action hero.
The set pieces are mostly hilariously awful. The hovercraft chase through the Korean Demilitarized Zone minefield at the start of the film and the confrontation with Zao at the Cuban gene therapy clinic are overall serviceable but everything that follows is thoroughly terrible. The fencing duel between Bond and Graves escalates to preposterous levels. The climactic battle onboard Graves' cargo plane is beyond silly, full of corny slo-mo and cheap-looking visual effects. The absolute worst action sequences all take place in Graves' visually unappealing ice palace. The invisible Aston Martin chase is silly enough but Bond surfing a massive tidal wave to safety indisputably takes the prize for the most absurd moment of the entire series.
Even for such a mediocre installment, Pierce Brosnan does his best with the material. It's just a shame that he ends his run as 007 with this atrocity. Halle Berry looks like she's having the time of her life as Jinx, a role that requires none of her esteemed acting talent. Toby Stephens scowls his way through the part of arch-villain Gustav Graves, his performance somehow more shameful after the late-film reveal that he's essentially playing a Korean man playing an Englishman. As the traitorous Miranda Frost, the versatile Rosamund Pike in her feature film debut is mostly ridiculous going from emotionally-detached MI6 agent to awkwardly evil baddie. Rick Yune chews all sorts of scenery as Graves' prime henchman Tang Ling Zao but he's at least more memorable than Michael Gorevoy as Graves' personal scientist and Lawrence Makoare as non-descript muscle Mr. Kil. Michael Madsen sleepwalks his way through his brief role Jinx's NSA boss Damian Falco, while legendary Hong Kong actor Kenneth Tsang's considerable talents are wasted on the part of the relatively noble General Moon. Judi Dench returns as M while Samantha Bond, John Cleese, and Colin Salmon make their final appearances as Moneypenny, Q, M's Deputy Chief of Staff Charles Robinson.
Pierce Brosnan's turn as James Bond ends with a colossal dud. Die Another Day represents all of the excesses of the film series in the very worst way. It is dreadfully, hilariously bad, more or less serving as a blueprint for what a modern Bond film shouldn't be.
THE COLD OPEN
The cold open is arguably the most plausible, least embarrassing part of the film. Bond's mission in North Korea is compromised after his cover is blown by an unknown source, later revealed to be Frost. He seemingly kills rogue North Korean Colonel Tan-Sun Moon played by Will Yun Lee but is captured by Moon's father the general.
THE THEME SONG AND OPENING TITLES
As Bond is tortured the North Koreans, Daniel Kleinman's opening titles break away from the boundaries of good taste, showing abstract manifestations of fire, ice, and electricity taking seductive female forms. Madonna's "Die Another Day" is pure techno trash, arguably the worst-fitting Bond theme song ever. Oddly, Madonna even makes a distracting cameo appearance in the film as Graves and Frost's fencing instructor Verity.
THE BOND GIRL
Though she is technically conceptually Bond's American equal, Jinx never quite measures up. Constantly objectified by the camera and her less-than-subtle sexually suggestive one-liners, she comes off as something of a parody of an old white screenwriter's idea of the ideal Bond love interest. She's got a ravenous sexual appetite like Bond but her dialogue is more foolish than sexy. She's resourceful and capable but she still needs Bond to rescue her. She's a skilled fighter but she can only defeat female villains, particularly the other woman Bond sleeps with in the narrative. It's a real blessing that Jinx's planned spin-off film never happened.
THE BOND VILLAIN
Gustav Graves is meant to be a twisted evil interpretation of James Bond, but the message is lost in the muddle of ice palaces, solar-powered space lasers, and North Korean aggression. The series already delivered a fine anti-Bond in GoldenEye and Graves pales in comparison. The fact that he is literally a genetically whitewashed Korean man adds an extra layer of unnecessary problematic discomfort.
FEATURED HENCHMAN
Tang Ling Zao, in his diamond-pocked incomplete genetically-altered glory, is perhaps best known for trying to out-quip Bond at every turn, more than any other henchman. He's got a memorable goofy/disturbing appearance but otherwise, he kind of sucks as a henchman, not even making it to the climatic battle.
BEST GADGET
The invisible Aston Martin is memorable for all the wrong reasons, just like the film itself. It remains arguably the most outlandish, implausible gadget of the series, more despised than the crocodile submarine.
FLEMING FIDELITY
Die Another Day was not inspired by or named after existing source material written by Ian Fleming.
FRAGMENTS
- Michelle Yeoh's Wai Lin from Tomorrow Never Dies was originally supposed to return to aid James Bond in Hong Kong but she was replaced by Chinese Intelligence Agent Chang played by Ho Yi
- While filming their love scene in Cuba, Pierce Brosnan perform the Heimlich maneuver on Halle Berry when she choked on a fig, saving her life
- At the bottom of the end credits, the film advertises that "James Bond Will Return"
