1983 | Dir. John Glen | 131 Minutes
"We're two of a kind. There are vast rewards for a man of your talents, willing to take risks."
MI6 Agent 009 is slain in East Germany leaving behind a counterfeit Fabergé egg. Picking up the fallen agent's mission, James Bond encounters deposed Afghan prince Kamal Khan and his cohort, a prolific jewel smuggler and all-female cult leader known as Octopussy. Bond discovers Khan is in league with a rogue Soviet general and races to stop their nefarious plot.
Offering few thrills and failing to capitalize on its aging leading man's cheeseball charisma, perhaps best remembered for literally presenting Bond as a clown in one off-puttingly self-aware moment, John Glen's second Bond film, and Roger Moore's sixth, Octopussy is another low point in Eon Productions' film series. The plot involving circus performers, stolen Russian treasures, and nuclear disarmament is convoluted yet the story is threadbare. The characters are downright boring, featuring the least intimidating villain Bond has ever faced and a love interest who predictably and infuriatingly loses all agency after one night with Bond.
The action scenes are mostly by-the-numbers, every one of them substandard. Bond is chased through the streets of Rajasthan littered with awful Indian caricatures, he dodges bullets and swings from jungle vines complete with corny Tarzan yell, he improbably drives on train tracks and leaps train cars in pursuit of his target. Even Octopussy's skimpy acrobats who do most of the fighting in the finale fail to truly liven things up. Aside from the production value on display in some of the sets, there is little to distinguish Octopussy from a tedious made-for-television movie.
Roger Moore has seen better days as James Bond, and though he still appears committed to the part delivering the often cringey dialogue without missing a beat, he has clearly overstayed his time as the action hero based on how much screen time his stunt double receives in this one. Previously appearing as Scaramanga's doomed lover in The Man with the Golden Gun, Maud Adams is fine but unremarkable as Octopussy. Adams surprisingly doesn't have much to do despite the fact that film is named after her character. Louis Jourdan doesn't leave even the slightest lasting impression as Kamal Khan, which might be the worst thing that can be said for a Bond villain, and neither does Kabir Bedi who plays is go-to henchman Gobinda. Twins David Meyer and Anthony Meyer are slightly more memorable than the main baddies as knife-throwing assassins Mischka and Grischka. Kristina Wayborn is great as the seductive Magda, surprisingly makes it through the entire film without dying, Tennis star Vijay Amritraj is charming as the doomed token foreign operative Vijay, and Steven Berkoff chews scenery the cartoonish Soviet General Orlov. Walter Gotell makes his fourth appearance as the honorable KGB leader Gogol, Desmond Llewelyn receives significant screen time as Q in his tenth appearance, Lois Maxwell makes her thirteenth appearance as Moneypenny, and Robert Brown appears as M as the second actor to take on the role.
Octopussy is arguably the worst Roger Moore Bond film in terms of entertainment value. Not only is it unapologetically silly, it's also uncharacteristically dull. The adversaries are rather generic and unappealing, the featured set pieces are disappointingly mundane, and the action sequences are among the least inspired and most forgettable of the entire series.
THE COLD OPEN
It's the best action sequence of the picture. Naturally, it's completely unrelated to the rest of the film. With the help of a beautiful accomplice, Bond infiltrates a Cuban military base, gets caught, and accomplishes his mission while making his daring escape piloting a small airplane.
THE THEME SONG AND OPENING TITLES
Rita Coolidge's "All Time High" is a fairly standard inoffensive track. It's pleasant love song but rather forgettable for a James Bond theme tune. For me, the title is unintentionally ironic, as I consider Octopussy one of the series' all time lows. The opening title sequence by Maurice Binder isn't one of his best, featuring odd-looking laser graphics over the on-brand nude models and silhouettes of acrobats that look out-of-place.
THE BOND GIRL
With an infamously terrible name, Octopussy is written as an interesting and capable match for Bond. Unfortunately, despite her incredible backstory as a skilled smuggler and leader of a formidable cult of fighting women, the film only ever tells and doesn't show, the plot doesn't give her much to do once Bond beds her. Instead of having her dispatch Khan in revenge for his betrayal, he almost immediately takes her hostage during the finale, shamefully rendering her another damsel in distress.
THE BOND VILLAIN
Bland as can be, Kamal Khan fails to live up to the standards of even the most basic Bond villains. The evil scheme devised by Khan and General Orlov carries catastrophic implications but unfolds late in the film, is over-complicated in execution, and is relatively pedestrian overall. The most memorable thing he does is plucking an eyeball out of a stuffed lamb's head and eating it.
FEATURED HENCHMAN
Gobinda is just as forgettable as Khan despite showing his strength by crushing dice with his bare hands. If there's one thing that's memorable about him, it's his perhaps misguided loyalty to his boss. When ordered to fight Bond hanging outside of their plane midflight, he questions Khan but ultimately does as he is told leading to his demise.
FEATURED GADGET
The crocodile submarine is one of the most ridiculous out-of-left-field gadgets featured in the series, delivered as a campy plot twist when Bond emerges from its mouth after struggling with what is clearly a real crocodile. It's really kind of sublime in its campiness.
FLEMING FIDELITY
The story of Octopussy's father, the disgraced Major Dexter Smythe, as well as the title of the film, originate from Ian Fleming's short story of the same name first serialized in the Daily Express in 1965, with few details changed. The auction sequence is loosely based on Fleming's short story The Property of a Lady first published in Sotheby's annual journal The Ivory Hammer in 1963. The rest of the film is an original story.
BATTLE OF THE BONDS
Ion Productions' Octopussy was in direct competition with Never Say Never Again, Kevin McClory's remake of Thunderball starring Sean Connery released by Warner Brothers four months after Octopussy. Though it claimed a better opening weekend than Octopussy, Never Say Never Again ultimately made less money.
FRAGMENTS
- In one extraordinarily cheesy moment, this film features the first and only diegetic use of the James Bond theme tune when Vijay plays it to charm a snake
- At the bottom of the end credits, the film advertises that "James Bond will return in 'From a View to a Kill'" though the title of the next film was slightly shortened to A View to a Kill during production
